When the idea to write this post struck me, I initially thought my relationship with weed was complicated. However, upon reflection, it’s not as intricate as I once believed. While I do have a unique journey that led me to my current perspective, it’s not a convoluted tale.

My journey with anxiety medication

Since seventh grade, I’ve been on and off medication for anxiety. My mother always sensed something was amiss, and I, too, felt a constant sense of panic.

However, articulating my thoughts proved challenging, especially when met with denial, ostracization, or silence from others.

This internal isolation persisted, and medication became a refuge. It dulled my senses to the point where I seemed content but in reality, I simply didn’t care.

Unfortunately, society often equates this apathy with positivity, urging others to adopt a similar mindset of indifference.

The impact of medication

Yet, youth brings its own desires, and mine is centered around typical interests, including sexual exploration.

However, the medication’s side effects posed hurdles, such as a diminished sex drive and physical discomfort like severe headaches during dosage adjustments.

These “don’t give a damn” pills required cycling due to tolerance build-up, a process known to those familiar with such medications, myself included, drawing from both my healthcare background and personal experience.

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After years of grappling with anxiety medication, my curiosity about cannabis peaked. At 25, I engaged in extensive research on its benefits.

During that time, I reconnected with an ex-partner, whose confidence in cannabis intrigued me. Despite our tumultuous history, I trusted his judgment and agreed to embark on a cannabis experiment during my visit.

Embracing change

Together, we delved into this unconventional journey, him grappling with bipolar disorder, and me navigating anxiety.

The experience was transformative. I vowed to abandon pharmaceuticals in favour of cannabis, despite the legal obstacles in my new state.

Navigating the legality

Upon returning home, I immersed myself in research, scouring through laws, advocating for legalization, and seeking real-life testimonials.

Amidst personal turmoil, including another falling out with my ex, I rekindled communication with my ex-husband, who resided in a legal cannabis state.

Medicinal vs. Recreational use

Through this process, I discerned the distinction between medicinal and recreational cannabis use. I realised that addiction transcends mere chemical dependency; it’s often rooted in psychological factors.

Witnessing my ex-husband’s descent into addiction, I confronted my own path and chose to let go.

Navigating parenthood and cannabis

Co-parenting with my ex-husband added layers of complexity, particularly as we struggled with our own battles while raising our daughter.

Though our appearances suffered, it’s essential to clarify that while cannabis isn’t akin to crack, our situation didn’t reflect well on us.

Societal perceptions and legal ramifications

Despite our struggles, societal leniency often favours men, especially those with backgrounds in public service. This bias became evident during legal proceedings where raising my ex’s addiction backfired, painting me as a snitch due to my own cannabis use.

It’s crucial to differentiate between individuals and their actions; the stigma surrounding cannabis mirrors that of other societal issues—it’s the actions, not the substance, that dictate perception.

The complexity of legal battles

Losing custody of my daughter marked a pivotal moment in my journey. While the court saga is multifaceted, one aspect underscores the challenges faced.

With her absence, I embarked on a spiritual quest, shedding societal expectations and embracing a newfound freedom from the constraints of identity and societal norms. Prayer became my solace, transcending boundaries and offering solace amidst uncertainty.

Navigating personal choices

Enduring periods of abstinence interspersed with moments of freedom in legal cannabis zones defined my journey. Despite external perceptions labeling me as a “stoner girl,” I believe regular cannabis users may find relief from undiagnosed ailments, albeit unacknowledged by skeptics.

Yet, the need for validation from others pales in comparison to the self-awareness gained through personal exploration.

Embracing psychedelics

In recent years, I’ve expanded my horizons to include psychedelics alongside cannabis. However, I refrain from advocating their usage, acknowledging that individuals possess an inherent understanding of their needs and limits.

My reluctance stems from a deep-seated awareness of personal boundaries, akin to abstaining from childhood antics like consuming paste or experimenting with inhalants.

Rather than seeking escapism, I embrace a heightened sense of awareness, attuning myself to the nuances of existence.

The paradox of sensitivity and substance use

I dare to posit that individuals endowed with heightened sensitivity are often predisposed to substance abuse and societal ostracization.

While not universally applicable, this correlation underscores the complexities of mental health and societal integration, transcending mere stereotypes and assumptions.

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Navigating psychic sensitivity and credibility

Maintaining credibility within psychic circles often involves a delicate balance. While some individuals adept at communing with spirits distance themselves from those grappling with psychic turmoil, the goal remains consistent: preserving authenticity amidst societal perceptions.

Perceptions vs. Reality

Perceptions can be deceiving. A man seemingly arguing with a trash can may in fact be engaging with energies invisible to the naked eye.

Rather than dismissing him as mentally unstable, discernment dictates seeking avenues for focused energy alignment, such as shamanic guidance.

The importance of discernment

Navigating psychic realms necessitates discernment in choosing when and where to engage with spiritual energies. Public displays of reverence, while respectful, may require discretion to avoid undue attention.

Embracing spiritual authenticity

Embracing one’s spiritual path entails unabashed authenticity. Constant prayer doesn’t equate to infallibility; it’s a testament to personal vulnerability and a willingness to explore the unknown.

Acknowledging individual abilities doesn’t diminish others’ potential—it underscores the beauty of diversity.

Embracing diversity in spiritual paths

Spiritual paths are as diverse as individuals themselves, devoid of hierarchical comparisons. Each path, like gender, offers unique perspectives and challenges.

Rather than viewing differences as hierarchical, embracing diversity fosters mutual respect and understanding.

Your narrative underscores the intricacies of spiritual exploration amidst societal perceptions, emphasizing the beauty of individual authenticity and diversity.

Disclaimer: The information provided on this page is for educational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before using any THC product.

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